Saturday, 16 March 2013

The Donut Diaries: Escape from Camp Fatso by Anthony McGowan

The experts at booksfc can disagree about anything: they disagree over who should have the last Haribo  and they disagree over their understanding of the world. Mad Scientist thinks the world is a small rocky planet within our solar system. Party Rocker thinks the world is his fan base. Striker thinks the world is something to do with the football tournament that takes place every four years. And Flower Power thinks the world is a type of ice lolly.
But there is one thing the experts agree on: donuts! There's so much you can do with a donut. You can eat it, lick it, gobble it, chew it, suck it, nibble it, stuff it all in at once, or devour it in one gulp. But whatever you do, it will be the best thing you have eaten that day.
So when they saw a book with a picture of a hundreds and thousands sprinkled, icy donut, they had to try to eat it. And when that didn't work as well as they'd hoped, they read it instead.


Mad Scientist: I have to be honest, my problem...
Party Rocker: (interrupting)...problems
Mad Scientist:...with this book...
Party Rocker:(interrupting)...with my life...
Mad Scientist:... is that it was a bit too simple...
Party Rocker:(interrupting) that no-one understands me...
Mad Scientist:... and there was just too little mind-bending, thought-provoking philosophical investigation and theoretical experimentation.
Party Rocker:(interrupting)...and there was just too much silly stuff.
Mad Scientist: But if I had to choose a favourite character, it would be Mr Fricker, the PE teacher with robotic hands. I liked that idea so much I made a pair. They're going to be really good when I figure out how to screw them on. 
Party Rocker: Well, my favourite character was Dong, who never said anything but 'Hello old chap, delighted to make your acquaintance'. He had real depth. As well as girth, and stamina and strength and waist size. I like to think of him as a role model.
Striker:Well, I give it 5 stars. I loved it because I love donuts. They are on my list of best foods, as well as sausages, pizza, hot dogs, burgers and tinned sardines. I also loved it because Donut had to try to escape (something I have to do a lot) and I couldn't wait to find out what would happen next.  Finally I loved it because I love football, and it started off with a game of football, and then came up with other really fun sounding games, like Peruvian shoe throwing. I'm gonna play that with Party Rocker in a minute. I've already prepared by filling a suitcase with Dad's size enormous boots and Mum's fatal party shoes.
Flower Power: (tottering over wearing high heels and dragging an open suitcase) Are we playing dressing up?
Striker (looking at her feet): No, we're not. We're playing duck
Flower Power: Ok. What do we do?
Striker (picking up a shoe)  Well I do this... (throws shoe) ... and you...
Flower Power: Owww! I'm telling on you. Mum!!!
Striker: (escaping) Time for a quick getaway.
So, Donut Diaires: Escape from Camp Fatso scores a sickeningly sweet 5 stars while Mad Scientist swears the voting is inaccurate and orders an enquiry, preferably a philosophical one.